Todd, 47, divorced with 3 kids, match.com
So I met Todd for a first date at Southside. The plan was to have a drink. Cool. I like to keep it "light and breezy" for a first date in case things go south and I need to exit stage left rather abruptly. When Todd walked up to me I could instantly tell one of 3 things:
1. He was already drunk
2. He was on something of the chemical persuasion
3. His motor skills and synapses weren't firing properly
Take your pick. All of the above options suck. Whatever his situation, it made for painful conversation, especially when he started asking me the same questions twice. When the "conversation" shifted to booze cruises and bars, I knew this guy was a train wreck. So I politely shot gunned my glass of wine and said I needed to get going. As luck would have it, he parked right next to me. Great, now I have to deal with a potentially awkward goodnight. He tried to kiss me and I turned my head. Whew, near miss. I turned around to get in my car and he said, "Don't be a stranger" and slapped me on my ass. Yep, you heard me. 47 years old? Yeah right. I was dumbfounded. I got in my car and I swear my mouth dropped open. How disrespectful not to mention inappropriate. A few hours later I received a text from him: "Had a great time. Hope to see you again soon." Yeah right, moron. I didn't respond. The next day another text from him: "What are the chances I can see you again?" Me: NEVER
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